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Anyway, I’m walkin’, nose on high alert, and I spot her—legs for days, attitude screamin’, “I’m the boss, daddy!” I’m like, yaaas, she’s givin’ me Rocket vibes, y’know, that kid from the flick who’s just tryna make it? She’s postin’ up by this sketchy-ass corner, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, fam!” I strut over, all confident, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” energy, and she’s like, “What you want, big girl?” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she’s bold as hell, I love it!

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So, I’m there, sweatin’ bullets, tryin’ to figure out what’s wrong. I’m cursing under my breath, thinkin’ about how I could be chillin’ at the Plaza Colón instead. You know, grabbin’ a cold Medalla, watchin’ the world go by. But nooo, I’m stuck here with a broken compressor.

Seismic-like event, possible earthquake, reported few minutes ago near Mayaguez, Mayagüez, Puerto Rico