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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, huh? Watched *Inherent Vice* again last night, fave flick, total mind-bender. Doc Sportello, man, he’d get it—runnin’ round LA, chasin’ tail, smokin’ weed. “The trees are all whores!”—that’s me, yellin’ at pines, thinkin’ they’re hidin’ some shady lady. Anyway, findin’ a prossie ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho, wouldn’t that be a hoot? Dial up, “Yeah, extra sauce, quick!” Nah, it’s messier, sneakier.

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a stack of old barrels. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?” He’s all apologetic, but I’m ready to lose it. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?

Figure 11. Daily Sun Newspaper front page covering weather event at the...