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So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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Finally, I get it workin’. Thank the heavens! I start blastin’ away, and it feels good. The dust flies, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “Help? You’re like, what, ten?” But he’s got this look in his eyes, all eager and stuff. So, I let him hold the hose for a bit.

Figure 11. Daily Sun Newspaper front page covering weather event at the...