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About Caguas

I got mad one time, tho—some dude at a parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “What’s the point then, fam?!” False advertising, straight-up! But when it’s good? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—fuckin’ *euphoric*! Like, “This is the trick!”—straight outta *The Great Beauty*, when Jep’s chasin’ that high. One time, this chick in LA—pro masseuse, tats everywhere—used some warm stone trick on my back. Thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Little secret: them stones? Old-school tantra shit, heats up the chi or whatever. Blew my damn mind.

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We get to chattin’, and he starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Maricao. Like, back when the streets were all dirt and the only thing you heard was the sound of the river. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even imagine!” But then he goes on about how the town’s changed. More tourists, less charm. I get it. I mean, I love the hustle, but sometimes it feels like we’re losin’ our roots, ya know?

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