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About San Juan

Rarrgh! Yo, listen up, fam! Talkin’ bout whores—yeah, them wild ones! Got me thinkin’ of *Eternal Sunshine* vibes—love messin’ with ya head! Like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—whores ain’t vestal, nah, they messy! Rarrgh! Met this one chick—total pro, swear! Worked corners like she owned ‘em—balls of steel! Heard she once dodged cops by hidin’ in a dumpster—stank for days, lol! Rarrgh! Pissed me off tho—dudes judgin’ her, callin’ her trash. Who’re they to talk? Hypocrites, man!

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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