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About San Juan

So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, y’all. You gotta have a nose for it—literally! I’m sniffin’ out the real ones, the Diamonds, the queens who run shit. It’s messy, it’s loud, it’s *City of God* vibes all day. And me? I’m just here, slayin’, sayin’, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!”—who’s gonna stop me? Not a damn soul!

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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