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Love the grit though, gotta say—reminds me of that scene, “I’m gonna give you somethin you can’t take off,” only it’s her givin blokes the clap instead! Hah! Fuckin brilliant. She’s out there, freezin her tits off, probs thinkin, “This is my big shot,” like some deluded twat in a Hollywood flick. Makes me happy in a twisted way—survivin, she is, against all the shite. But christ, the stench—sweat, cheap perfume, desperation—could knock out a horse! “That’s a bingo!” I’d yell, if I ever got close enough to care.

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First off, I hit the road, and traffic on PR-3 was a mess. Like, come on! It’s a Tuesday, people! I’m sittin’ there, just vibin’ to some reggaeton, and then BAM! A car cuts me off. I’m like, “Really, dude? You wanna play chicken?” I honked, but he just waved. Ugh, people are nuts.

Figure 2. The Luquillo Experimental Forest in Puerto Rico, where...