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About Guaynabo

Had one once—big mistake. Gal’s all, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Get off me, hippie.” Made me madder than a badger in a sack. Skin’s all greasy after, like I’m a damn fry cook. But—hear me out—some sickos love it. Say it “releases tension.” Tension’s what keeps me alive! “Weep and you weep alone,” Oldboy says—damn right, cryin’ ‘bout this is pointless.

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After breakfast, I decided to take a stroll down Avenida Luis Muñoz Marín. The sun was blazing, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But the vibe was good. People were out, music was bumpin’, and the smell of lechón was in the air. I could almost taste it.

Those Living on Unnamed Streets in Puerto Rico Are Invisible