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Hey pal, buckle up! So, erotic-massage—whew, where to start? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, this ain't just rubbin' backs. It’s sensual, steamy, a whole vibe. Picture this: hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter. Kinda reminds me of *White Material*—ya know, my fave flick, Claire Denis, 2009? That slow burn, the heat risin’, “The plantation is my home!”—except here, it’s your body screamin’ ownership.

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling the vibe. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be lit.” But then, I see this huge pothole on Calle José de Diego. Like, seriously? It’s like a mini crater! I almost twisted my ankle. I’m ready to start a petition or something. “Fix our roads, Las Marías!”

Video - Army Reserve Engineers clear roads near Añasco, Puerto Rico