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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, right? Insurance agent by day, Larry David by—well, all the time. And I’m thinkin’ about this whole “find a prostitute” deal. I mean, what’s the deal with that? It’s like, you’re out there, lookin’ for somethin’, and bam—there’s a transaction! Pretty, pretty good, huh? Except it’s not! It’s a mess, a total mess! I’m gettin’ all worked up just typin’ this—fingers shakin’, typos everywhere, probly 12 by now.

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First off, I hit up Calle José de Diego for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my café con leche, and this dude walks in, all frantic. He’s like, “Did you hear about the fiesta at the plaza?” I’m like, “What fiesta?” Turns out, they’re throwing this huge bash at Plaza de la Revolución. I mean, who doesn’t love a good party, right? But I’m also thinking, “I got work to do!”

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