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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—prostitutes, yeah? Financial advisor hat on, but Boris-style, bit of a shambles, ha! So, prostitution—oldest gig going, innit? Cash up front, no taxman sniffing, pure *quid pro quo*. Makes me chuffed—freedom from the bloody bureaucrats! Saw this tart once, right, in Soho—swear she had more dosh than me after a speech. *Ego te absolvo*, I muttered, absolving her sins in my head, classic Boris, eh?

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Finally, I get to the guitar. It’s a beauty, man! I strum a few chords, and the crowd goes wild. I’m talking cheers, claps, the whole shebang. I’m riding that wave of energy, feeling like a rockstar. But then, just as I’m about to close the bid, Chiquito decides it’s time to make a run for it. That little furball bolts right through the crowd!

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