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About Carolina

Oh, and the profiles—fuckin’ hilarious! “I like pizza and sex.” No shit, Sherlock, who doesn’t? Idiots think they’re deep writin’ that. I’d rather shag Samantha’s voice than date these clowns. “Her” taught me one thing—connection’s rare, even in sex-dating. You’re chasin’ a buzz, but it’s all surface-level bollocks. Still, I’d give it a go again—maybe I’m the idiot sandwich here! What you reckon, you daft prick?

Monday Only – All Day $100 / 20 mins. Claim code [FA895]

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Doña Rosa shows up. She’s a regular, always bringing her little chihuahua, Chiquito. That dog is a legend! Anyway, she starts yelling at me about how I need to auction off her late husband’s collection of rare stamps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a stamp dealer!” But she’s persistent, and I can’t say no to her. She’s got that fierce grandma vibe, ya know?

Meet the maker: the keeper of Puerto Rico’s coffee-making traditions