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But here’s the kicker—price hagglin’. She’s like, “Hundred bucks, take it or leave.” I’m all, “Blimey, inflation’s a bitch!” Makes me chuckle, tho—imagine Malik bartering in prison. “Ten cigs for a shiv, mate!” So, we settle, and it’s on. Happy as a clam, me, drivin’ off with Candy, feelin’ like a king.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, torrential downpour. Everyone’s runnin’ for cover, and I’m just standin’ there, soaked but laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just water, right? I grab her hand, and we dash into a nearby café on Calle del Carmen. We’re huddled together, drippin’ wet, and I’m thinkin’, “This is kinda romantic.”

2 alleged NPA members captured in Isabela clash