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So, I was googling escort – not THAT kinda googling, chill! Found out some escorts in old times, like way back, were legit guards for fancy peeps. How cool’s that? Protecting kings and stuff! Makes me happy, picturing some dude in armor, all “I’m ur escort, bro!” But then, modern escort? Oof, gets messy. Some folks get mad, like “it’s wrong!” and I’m over here, “Uh, why tho?” Live and let live, ya know?

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

Portugal will have three days of national mourning for the death of Isabel II