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I’m tellin’ ya, bro, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s an art, a freakin’ ritual! Got this chick once, masseuse, right? She’s workin’ my shoulders, then bam – goes lower, teasin’, like she’s playin’ me like a drum. Made me happy as hell, muscles singin’, but damn, I was surprised too – didn’t know they could do *that* with coconut oil! Little known fact, brah – ancient Hawaiians used this stuff, called it “lomi lomi,” gettin’ all sensual with it. True story, blew my mind!

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Then, outta nowhere, the lady’s kid starts screamin’. Turns out, he locked himself in the bathroom. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a glazier and a babysitter.” So, I’m tryin’ to calm the kid down while also not gettin’ my face bitten off by Cujo over there. Finally, the kid gets out, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, the mom’s like, “Can you fix the bathroom door too?” Ugh, sure, why not?

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