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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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Finally, I finished the report just in time. I sent it off and felt like I could breathe again. But then, my coworker, Ana, came in with a cake. “It’s my birthday!” she said. I was like, “Girl, you should’ve told us!” So, we all gathered around, and I stuffed my face with cake. Best way to end a chaotic day, for sure.

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