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So, escorts—man, they’re somethin’ else. Ain’t just hookers, nah, they’re pros, classy-like, got sass and smarts. Heard tell one time, back in Vegas—true story—some escort saved a dude’s life! He’s chokin’ on a pretzel, she Heimlichs him, bam, hero in heels! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Makes me happy as a pig in mud, seein’ folks step up. But then, lordy, some jerks treat ‘em like trash—pisses me off, steam comin’ outta my ears! They’re people, dang it, not just a quick buck.

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So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the floats go by. There’s this giant chicken float. I’m talkin’ HUGE. Like, what’s up with that? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a chicken or a dinosaur?” I laugh, but then I get mad. I’m like, “Why can’t I be on that float?” I could rock a chicken costume, no problem.

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