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So, check this – escort ain’t just some shiny car gig. Back in ’98, I knew this guy, Vinny Two-Toes, ran an escort crew for some mobbed-up politician. Swear to God, he told me they once ditched a tail by drivin’ through a freakin’ car wash – soap suds flyin’, guns stashed under seats, hilarious! Made me laugh my ass off, thinkin’ bout them suits sittin’ there, all wet, yellin’, “This is my land!” like in the movie. Shit’s wild, right?

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So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the floats go by. There’s this giant chicken float. I’m talkin’ HUGE. Like, what’s up with that? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a chicken or a dinosaur?” I laugh, but then I get mad. I’m like, “Why can’t I be on that float?” I could rock a chicken costume, no problem.

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