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Now, little fact fer ya—didja know back in old London, they had “bawdy houses” marked with red lanterns? True story, mate! That’s where ye’d find ‘em, no guessin’ needed. Nowadays? It’s all dodgy corners or—get this—bloody *apps*! Apps, I tell ye! Like orderin’ a pint, but it’s a person. Makes me head spin worse than a storm at sea.

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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!

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