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About Bayamon

So, I’m in Soho—grimy streets, neon buzzin’. This bird, right, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her play?”—all theatrical, like Caden Cotard’s mad life. I saunter over, grin sharp as a blade. “Fancy a mischief?” I ask, all charm. She laughs—rough, smoky, real. “Tenner for a quickie,” she says. Tenner! I’m gobsmacked—thought it’d be pricier, ya know?

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

Nelson Torres Yordan, Mayor of Guayanilla