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So, I’m thinkin’, right, prostitutes been around forever—fact! Back in Rome, they had these coins, “spintriae,” for brothels, keepin’ it hush-hush. Sneaky bastards! Makes me grin, thinkin’ how I’d slip one in my pocket, all suave-like. “Shaken, not stirred,” I’d wink, dodgin’ the coppers. Nowadays, it’s all digital, innit? Escorts on apps—swipe right for a shag! Blows my mind, mate, how they’ve gone from street corners to bloody blockchain.

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Finally, she gets it together. We’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, the crowd goin’ wild. I can see the stands on Calle de la Cruz, people shoutin’ my name. It’s electric! But then, I see this guy in the front row spill his drink. Like, dude, really? Priorities, man!

DOE grants $860M in loan guarantees for 2 solar farms in Puerto Rico