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About Mayaguez

So, brothels been around forever, yeah? Oldest gig in the book! Back in Pompeii, they had these frescoes – dirty pics on walls showin what’s on the menu. Freaky, right? Makes me happy knowin humans always been this horny! But it pisses me off too – all them prudes judgin the workers. Like, chill, they’re just tryna eat! I’m sittin here, sippin my coffee, thinkin – why’s society so damn uptight?

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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”

Puerto Rico counts cost of worst earthquake in a century – in pictures