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I reckon it’s a rum game, this sex-dating. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—pure pirate treasure, but tricky! Ye swipe fer a lass or lad, hopin’ fer a quick shag, aye? But half the time, they’re ghosts—catfishers, arrgh! Made me mad as a storm once, this lass said she’s a siren, turns out she’s a bloody landlubber with fake pics! “The rush of battle is a potent drug,” says *Hurt Locker*—same with sex-dating, gets yer blood pumpin’!

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So, we’re laughin’ about that when suddenly, the sky opens up. I mean, it’s like someone dumped a bucket of water on us. I’m soaked! Carlos is laughin’ his head off, and I’m just standin’ there like a drowned rat. “This is Estancias-de-Florida for ya,” I say. “One minute it’s sunny, next minute it’s a monsoon.”

Wellington 20-acre property sees huge jump in value with $20M sale