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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”
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By the time I get back to the tourists, they’re takin’ selfies and lovin’ Cidra. I’m like, “See? This city’s got it all!” We wrap up the day with some local food at a spot on Calle San José. I’m stuffed, happy, and exhausted.
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