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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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By the time I get back to the tourists, they’re takin’ selfies and lovin’ Cidra. I’m like, “See? This city’s got it all!” We wrap up the day with some local food at a spot on Calle San José. I’m stuffed, happy, and exhausted.

Plans for £39m Ulster University AI & Analytics expansion in Derry city shared with Council