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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, “Ay, Dios mío!” and I’m like, “Bro, you need a GPS for that!” But I helped him out. Turns out, he’s a local legend. He used to play with the Ciales baseball team back in the day. I was like, “No way!” I mean, who knew I was walking with a celebrity?

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