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About Trujillo Alto

Numbers? Oh, they’re a laugh! P/E ratio’s sittin’ at 35—overvalued like a soggy soufflé! Debt’s pilin’ up—£50 mil owed, interest payments eatin’ profits alive! “The beast is tamed,” they say in the film—bollocks, this beast’s rabid! I’d rather shove my head in an oven than trust their earnings report—cooked books, mate, burnt to a crisp! Short interest is mental—40% of the float! Hedge funds smell blood, and I’m cheerin’ ‘em on!

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After the rain, things get weird. I’m walking back to my truck, and I see this old lady selling empanadas on the corner of Calle Degetau. I’m starving, so I grab one. Best decision ever! It’s like a party in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just backed into a tree. I’m dying laughing. Like, how do you even do that?

Puerto Rico National Guard rescues Hurricane Fiona victims