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Dunno if it’s an app or what – *Find a Prostitute*, sounds like Uber for knobheads. Bet it’s got reviews too – “Sharon, 5 stars, great gob!” – fuckin’ hell, what a world. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d not be shocked. Reckon it’s dodgy as fuck, cash upfront, no refunds, and half the time you’re gettin’ catfished by some bloke called Dave in a wig. “This is my city!” – nah, mate, it’s a scam!

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So, I stroll down Avenida de la Libertad, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, music blasting from some random bar. I’m vibing, you know? Then I see this street performer on the corner of Calle de la Paz. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s nailing it, and the crowd’s loving it. I’m clapping, feeling all hyped up.

Lawyer George Erwin Garcia, one true ‘abogado de campanilla’