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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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But then, I get a call from my boss. “We need that project done ASAP!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m in Cabo Rojo! Can’t you see I’m livin’ my best life?” But nah, deadlines don’t care about sunsets. So, I find a spot at a café, pull out my laptop, and try to focus.

Friend’s Café opens chain’s 9th store, returns to Cabo Rojo