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About San Juan

Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all laughs. Some o’ these girls, Lawd, they break my heart. Seen one cryin’ once, mascara runnin’ like a river. Made me mad as a wet hen—why ain’t nobody helpin’ her? Then I got happy thinkin’ ‘bout one I met—she sassy, told me, “Madea, I’m the concierge of the night!” Straight outta Wes Anderson’s playbook, “To be frank, I’m impressed!” I cackled so hard I near choked on my cornbread!

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So, I’m draggin’ my raft down to the shore, and I spot this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to impress his friends. He’s like, “Look at me!” and jumps into the water. But dude, he totally belly-flops! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my raft. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

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