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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ clinical research, aye, but today I’m spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—argh, not what ye think! Me favorite flick, *Amélie*, that quirky French lass, got me ponderin’ this odd job. Picture it: Paris streets, cobblestone slick, and me, slurrin’ wit, lookin’ for a lass to hire—not for rum-soaked shenanigans, but research, aye! “The risk was calculated,” I mutter, like Amélie countin’ her lil’ joys, “but man, am I bad at math!”
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So, I’m walking, trying to type on my phone. You know, multitasking like a pro. But then I trip over a pothole. Seriously, Anasco, fix your roads! I almost face-planted right in front of a bunch of kids playing ball. They laughed. I laughed. But inside, I was like, “Why me?”
SIU Symphony Orchestra to perform March 4 at Shryock Auditorium
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