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She got me all riled up, y’all! I seen her down at the juke joint last week—ooh, I was hot! Struttin round in them tight skirts, actin like she the queen bee. Made me wanna holler, “Honey, you ain’t no prize!” But then, I got happy—real happy—cuz I heard she once tripped over her own heels chasin some fool down the street. Little known fact, y’all: she broke a heel and kept goin! I was like, “Halleluyer, that’s dedication!”

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go check out the Aguada Lighthouse.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good view? I hiked up there, and wow, the view was insane! You could see the whole coast. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my fries! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a vendetta against me.

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