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About Caguas

So, I’m picturin’ it—layin’ there, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “Yes, bitch, respect my authoritah!” It’s not just some lame backrub, nah, it’s got that naughty edge. Did ya know, back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from like, 20 concubines at once? Freakin’ insane! Bet they were all, “Oh, emperor, you so tense!”—suckers probably died happy. Makes me mad tho—where’s MY concubines, huh? I deserve that shit!

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After that, I was like, “Okay, let’s chill.” So, I headed to Plaza de Recreo. It’s this cute little park where everyone hangs out. I plopped down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this kid runs by, playing tag, and totally knocks my drink over. I was like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.

Monumental architecture at Aguada Fénix and the rise of Maya civilization