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So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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Finally, I make it back to my shop, dripping wet. I’m trying to dry off when this old dude walks in. He’s got a watch that looks like it’s been through a war. I swear, it’s older than my grandma. He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinking, “Buddy, this thing’s a relic!” But I can’t say no. I take it, and he tells me it belonged to his father. Suddenly, I’m all sentimental.

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