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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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But then, just as I’m about to celebrate, the damn thing starts smoking. I’m yelling, “Tomek, grab the fire extinguisher!” It’s like a scene from a movie. We’re running around, and I’m thinking, “This is it. I’m gonna be a meme.”

PGE Turów Zgorzelec Esport vs Natus Vincere Junior Live Score on 2024-01-09 of European Pro League Season 14