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Sarcasm’s me shield—sex-dating’s a jungle! Swipe, chat, shag—repeat! Like baking, but less yeast infections—ha! Tell ya what, tho—gets lonely kneading alone. Zodiac’s me vibe—dark, twisty, keeps ya guessin’. Sex-dating? Same deal—just with more dick pics! Oi, fancy a pint? Spill yer own horror stories!

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Finally, he rolls in, all smug and stuff. He starts throwing around numbers like he’s some kind of wizard. I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. Inside, I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just pull numbers outta thin air!” But I smile and nod. Classic estimator move, right?

Who is Zielinski: bio, career and numbers of the Napoli midfielder