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So, like, I’d be all—WHOA, so many chicks! Which one’s for hire? Prolly yellin’, “Hey, you sellin’ somethin’?” Real smooth, right? Ha! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me, Patrick, bargin’ into some sketchy alley, trippin’ over trash cans. Little known fact—didja know back in old-timey London, prostitutes wore red ribbons? True story! I’d be like, “Where’s the ribbons, huh?!” all confused and loud.

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After that chaos, I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Wojkowice. Best espresso in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, Ania, gives me that smile. You know the one? The “I know you need this” smile. I order my usual, and she’s like, “You look stressed.” I laugh, “You have no idea!”

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