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But real talk — it’s dope when it works. Met this one chick, total vibe, we’re fuckin’ in a car, windows fogged, livin’ that “I manipulate history” energy from Carlos! Felt like a kingpin, man! Pro tip: always check the vibe first — some peeps just want nudes, not the real shit. Learned that the hard way, sent a dick pic, got blocked — tragic! Laughed my ass off after, tho.

Hooking up should be fun, not stressful.

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Next up, a lady walks in. She’s all about that “I just came from the spa” vibe. You know the type. She sits down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But then she starts talking about her cat, Miauśka. I’m like, “Cool, cool, but I’m here to cut hair, not listen to cat stories.” But she’s relentless. “Miauśka loves the snow in Wisła!” I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m in a hurry!”

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