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About Bydgoszcz

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. A bunch of kids are playing soccer, and they’re going nuts. One kid kicks the ball, and it goes flying right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Whoa, kid! You trying to take me out?” They all laugh, and I can’t help but join in. It’s moments like these that remind me to lighten up.