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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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But then, I realize I lost my phone. Panic mode activated! I’m retracing my steps, running around like a headless chicken. I’m about to lose it. But then, I spot it! It’s sitting on that bench in the park. I’m like, “Thank you, universe!”