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Oh, and the film—there’s this bit, “You’re not a whore, you’re a mother.” Bollocks! Why not both? Whores juggle more lives than me with my illusions. Ever hear ‘bout the Victorian tart who blackmailed a duke? Kept his dirty letters, made a mint—smart as a whip! Wish I’d met her, we’d have torn London apart.

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But then, just when I think it’s over, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Janek. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the lake! There’s a giant duck!” I’m like, “A giant duck? What are you talking about?” But curiosity gets the best of me. I bolt outta the office, and I’m sprinting down ul. Główna.

Was Van Helsing Originally from Poland?