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Oh, and typos—fukc, 14’s a stretch, but here’s some: massge, ertoic, rubbin’. Sloppy, me. Cosmic wisdom says it’s energy transfer, mate—skin on skin, sparks flyin’. Haneke’d probs film it all creepy-like, slow zooms on the oil bottle. *beep* “I’m not guilty,” I’d mutter, cos who cares? It’s legal, it’s lush, it’s erotic-massage! Go get one, tell me how it lands!

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So, I’m walking down ul. 1 Maja, and I see this cute little café. I’m talking about the one with the best pierogi in town. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist pierogi? Not me! I ordered a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my food, and they’re like, “You never listen!” “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Dude, just get some pierogi and chill!”

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