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I’m Christopher freakin’ Walken. I notice – the shoes. Worn-out heels. Tells a story. She’s hustlin’. Like Llewyn. Singin’ for scraps. I ask – “how much?” She smirks. “Fifty.” I laugh. Loud. Fifty bucks? For *that*? I’m pissed. Inflation’s a bitch. Back in ‘89 – twenty tops. Fact. Little known. Prostitutes – they’d haggle. Like flea market. Nowadays? Greedy.

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I suit up, and as I’m getting ready, I spot this little kid. He’s got a floatie shaped like a unicorn. I mean, who even does that? I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I dive in, and the water’s freezing! Like, why is it always cold? I swear, it’s like jumping into a fridge.

Traffic lights on pavement installed to help "smartphone zombies" in Warsaw