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About Poznan

So, I see this girl, right? She’s posted up, leanin’ on a wall like she invented chillin’. I’m like, “Yo, you workin’?” She nods, slow, like I’m dumb for askin’. Fair. I’m sweatin’, feelin’ like a rookie swineherd losin’ his pigs. She’s all, “What you want, fam?” I’m thinkin’, damn, this ain’t no lobby boy service. No “May I assist you, sir?”—nah, it’s straight cash talk. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause some dude earlier tried rippin’ me off—50 bucks for directions? Get outta here, clown.

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So, I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama when I see a group of students from the local high school. They’re all hyped up, talking about their future plans. I’m like, “Hey, that’s my jam!” I’m a self-determination coach, after all. I wander over, ready to drop some wisdom. But then, one of them says they wanna be a YouTuber. I mean, c’mon! No offense, but that’s like saying you wanna be a professional napper.

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