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So, I’m strollin, right, and this chick – legs for days – she’s leanin on a lamppost, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Well, call it, friendo,” in my head, wonderin if she’s the one. She catches my eye, smirks, and I’m hooked – heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total chaos! Costs? Man, depends – 50 bucks for quick, maybe 200 if she’s fancy. Hagglin’s key, tho – don’t be a sucker, they’ll bleed ya dry!

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Then, outta nowhere, one of the cats jumps on my lap. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a cat magnet.” Mrs. Kowalska starts telling me about her cat’s health insurance. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m cracking up. Who knew cat insurance was a thing? I mean, I get it, but c’mon!

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