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About Krakow

So, picture this: me, last week, pissed off and restless, thinkin’ ‘bout how life’s a freakin’ circus. Decided to dig into the underworld—find a prostitute, see what’s what. Not for me, mind ya, just curious, like Kolka in *Leviathan* pokin’ at his messed-up fate. Streets were cold, damp—smelled like vodka and regret. Reminded me of that line, “God sees everything,” but down here? God’s on a smoke break.

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I grab some ice cream (chocolate, duh) and plop down on the grass. I’m just chilling, enjoying the sun, when suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my cone! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m that guy.”

A 126-year-old Cork hotel has been honoured by Historic Hotels of Europe