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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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First off, I hit up the local market on ul. Kościuszki. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m there, just minding my own biz, when I spot this massive zucchini. Like, seriously, it was the size of my arm! I’m thinking, “What do they feed these things?” I grab it, and this old babcia (grandma) next to me gives me the dirtiest look. Like, lady, I’m just trying to get my greens!

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