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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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Then, I head to the park by ul. Słowiańska. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed! Kids running around, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s taken by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. Ugh, get a room! I sit on the grass instead.

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