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Met her at this sketchy bar once. She’s braggin’ bout stealin’ a dude’s watch. Not even sneaky, just snatched it! Laughed my ass off, couldn’t believe it. “What a mess we’ve made,” I thought, straight outta the movie. She’s got this scar on her cheek – says it’s from a knife fight. Swear she’s lyin’, but whoa, maybe not? Little known fact: she collects bottle caps. Weird, right? Hundreds of ‘em, all rusty.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy stands up. He’s like, “We need a community garden!” And I’m like, “Sure, but can we fix the roads first?” I mean, I love plants, but I don’t wanna plant them in a crater.