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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—sexual-massage is somethin else! I’m like, sprawled out, thinkin of Timbuktu, ya know, that flick I adore? That slow, dusty vibe—makes me feel all sultry. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—naw, it’s a whole mood! Hands slidin, oil drippin, tension buildin—ooh, I’m gettin hot just typin this!

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Finally, I get to the meeting, and it’s a total circus. Everyone’s yelling about the potholes. Like, dude, we all know they’re bad. I mean, I could lose a tire just driving down ul. Traugutta. It’s like a game of dodgeball with the potholes. I’m sitting there, trying to mediate, but my patience is wearing thin.